∞

dear my closest friend…

i’m writing this because… well, i don’t know why i’m writing this. i’ve been thinking about it a lot lately..

it’s taken so long for me to get to this point. for awhile, i was angry. pissed off. betrayed. every synonym in the book. but i’m past that. we had good times. so many good times.

you were there for me when no one else was. rolling in the deep as adele may say. i could never find someone else like you, and that’s proven quite apparent. i’ve grown so much since you. i’ve inherited new traits and let go of bad habits. but still i find myself reflecting..

we had no instruments. no violins, no harps, but still. somehow we made beautiful music day in and day out. though the strings needed finer tuning some days more than others.

sure, i could live and fester on everything that went wrong. i could be angry at you, be hateful and spiteful, but no excuses will be made. what’s done is done. the past cannot be rewritten, so we shouldn’t try to change it. just learn from it, and try to do better in the future.

“love is fragile. and we aren’t always the best caretakers. we just muddle through the best we can and hope this fragile thing survives.”

i’m not entirely sure you’ll end up reading this. i think there’s a 10% chance you will. i guess there’s part of me hoping and wishing you will. but there’s also a part of me that knows it’s better if you didn’t/don’t.

i think i feel like you’ve been doing so much better without me in your life. and now that you’re seemingly happier, i don’t want to screw that up for you in any way.

maybe we just weren’t meant to be.

“we’re not perfect. any of us. but then we forgive, and we move forward.”

dear my closest friend,

thank you.